39 Funny Shopping Quotes to Make Your Day

Today, I just wanted us to have a bit of a laugh by going through some funny shopping quotes that I have found on the net. Life is hard but we can make the load lighter by having a bit of laughter sometimes.

Shops are upping their game as they try to make as much money as possible. They now engage mystery shoppers to gauge how they are doing. I have a post on Reasons to Become a Mystery Shopper for those that want to make a little money.

I know that most people struggle when it comes to shopping. They are more into impulse shopping than buying things they really need. So, I hope that by reading some of the experiences of others we can learn to overcome some unhealthy habits.

Related: Best Places To Sell Used Furniture

Below are the shopping quotes that I found.

39 Shopping Quotes

No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.” – Donita K. Paul.

This is especially true of some people who cannot control themselves when it comes to shopping. It is more of an addiction that needs to be treated.

Marilyn Monroe - Shopping quotes

Happiness is not in money, but in shopping.” Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe was a very famous American actress who passed away in 1962.

Unfortunately shopping did not provide with lasting happiness and she died a restless soul. Shopping therapy does not work.

I hate shopping.” – Courteney Cox

We should all hate shopping to be honest. If you have too much money invest it as you will need it in your retirement. Sometimes we tend to forget that youthhood does not last forever.

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.” – Sophie Kinsella

Unfortunately it does not always work. I think therapy is a much better option than shopping.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Smith.

Will Smith is an African American actor. He has starred in many films including Bad Boys.

Peer pressure and the desire to impress others can lead people into making purchases of things that they don’t really need. Unfortunately this has led to millions of westerns incurring debts that they are struggling to service. Let’s avoid all this and only buy things when we are really ready for them and need them. Your funds are best invested in stocks and bonds than spending it on some expensive gadgets that will soon lose all their value once new stuff comes on the scene.

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” – Oscar Wilde.

Oscar Wilde was an Irish poet and playwright who died in 1900.

Unfortunately, shopping is not good therapy. You are better off crying your lungs out than go shopping. Shopping will just add on to your woes by increasing your debts.

I couldn’t live on the singing at first, so I worked as a cleaner, in a laundrette, in a garage, face painting and doing the windows of shops at Christmas, ’cause I had been to art college.'” – Imelda May.

Imelda Marcos was the first lady of Phillipines. He was married to the late President Ferdinand Marcos who passed away in exile in 1989.

This lady eventually become known for her extravagant lifestyle as wife to the former dictator of Phillipines, Ferdinand Marcos. It shows that even those who grew in poverty become reckless when exposed to wealth. In this case it ill-gotten wealth as her husband was known for his corruption.

I have no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping.” – Jo Brand.

I wish all of us were like this lady. The love of shopping can create all sorts of heartaches for those who are addicted to it.

Arthur Miller - Shopping Quotes

The car, the furniture, the wife, the children – everything has to be disposable. Because you see the main thing today is – shopping.” – Arthur Miller.

I can remember a time when people kept their cars for a long time. These were the days when finance was not readily available. Now that it is easy to get finance people change phones every two years, cars every four to five years.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Gertrude Stein.

This is really funny but not true at all. Real happiness cannot be bought or sold. Real happiness comes from being satisfied with what you have.

I like my money right where I can see it… hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw.

Probably one of the funniest shopping quotes. Unfortunately that is not the best place to to keep your money. You are better off investing it. Spending your money in unnecessary shopping is not a wise decision.

Recreational shopping is the shortest distance between two points: you and broke.” – Victoria Moran.

This is another gem from Victoria Moran. I need to repeat here that recreational shopping is not worth it and can indeed lead to you being broke. I have been in situations where I found myself broke a week or two before payday, struggling to pay even for transportation to work.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, “so does the guy I stole it from.” – David Letterman.

David Letterman is an American comedian who is well known for hosting late night televison shows for at least 30 years.

A very funny line from David Letterman. I was and still am a big fan of David Letterman.

I love shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “extra medium.” – Steven Wright.

Extra medium? Is there such a size? I am not a good shopper you see, maybe due to the fact that I am not rich. (LOL). So please spare my ignorance on sizes.

I walked into the mall and instantly felt calm surrounded by all the stores I’ll browse but can’t afford.” – Unknown.

Window shopping used to be my past time not long ago and I liked visiting shops selling some of the stuff I admired but could not afford. Life is really funny when you come to think about.

Principles are the simplicity on the far side of complexity.” – Stephen R. Covey

I enjoy reading Stephen R. Covey quotes. The world would do well to have many principled men and women. Men and women who are swayed by every wind of fashion. People who stand for their principles no matter what.

Karl Lagerfeld - shopping quotes
Karl Lagerfeld Shoping Quotes

If I could be reincarnated as a fashion accessory, it would be a shopping bag.” – Karl Lagerfeld.

Karl Otto Lagerfeld who died on 19th February 2019 was a German fashion designer who was based in Paris.

Exactly what you would expect to hear from a fashion icon like Karl Lagerfeld.

While Easter shopping is the window to spring, back-to-school is the doorway to fall and the holidays. So back-to-school shopping is a really important momentum builder.” – Marshal Cohen.

Marketers have found a way to make sure that we don’t forget these shopping seasons. It is to their benefit anyway. All the Christian festivities have now become so commercialised that we usually forget why they exist.

I love dress shopping, and I love talking about wedding food. That’s what makes me happy. If you tell me to do a guest list, I cry. I hate it.” – Chrissy Teigen.

Chrissy Teigen is an American model married to American musician, John Legend.

Shopping can become an addiction sometimes. It may be alright if you are Chrissy Teigen with lots and lots of money but it is not a laughing matter if you are as poor as I am.

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.” – Maria Bamford.

I enjoy the other bits of marriage but definitely not shopping with your spouse. I hate going from shop to shop for two or more hours. As a man I just want to go to one shop and go back home.

If I like it. I’ll buy it: pure impulse shopping.” – Kristin Kreuk.

Impulse buying is the cause of most of our financial hardships. We all have to learn to control our impulses otherwise we will be in trouble.

I’ve found out it’s fun to go shopping. It’s such a feminine thing to do.” – Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe was a very famous American actress in her time. She passed away in the 1960s.

That is what I have noticed in my family too as I have two ladies. Let me stop here as I will be in trouble if they read this.

I love shopping. There is a little bit of magic found in buying something new. It is instant gratification, a quick fix.” – Rebecca Bloom.

It is a quick fix if it not done regularly. If you are addicted to shopping this might turn out to be a nightmare in terms of credit card debts.

There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness in the proportion.” – Edgar Allan Poe.

This is perhaps the most beautiful quote on this page.

Joy is the best makeup.” – Anne Lamott.

And that joy does not come from shopping. It comes from a satisfied soul.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah Winfrey is an American talk show host.

“Governments are deemed to succeed or fail by how well they make money go round, regardless of whether it serves any useful purpose. They regard it as a sacred duty to encourage the country’s most revolting spectacle: the annual feeding frenzy in which shoppers queue all night, then stampede into the shops, elbow, trample and sometimes fight to be the first to carry off some designer junk which will go into landfill before the sales next year. The madder the orgy, the greater the triumph of economic management.”
― George Monbiot

Clothes aren’t going to change the world the women who wear them will.” – Anna Klein.

Anna Klein was an American fashion designer who died in 1974.

Sometimes we act like clothes can change the world around us. Unfortunately it is not that easy.

When shopping was still connected to the street it was also an intensification and articulation of the street. Now it has become utterly independent-contained, controlled, surveyed.” – Rem Koolhaas.

At the rate things are going most of the shopping will be done online. Brick and mortar shops are onthe way out. Those shops who have not realised this will lose out.

I observed with disillusioned clarity the despicable nonentity of the street; its porches; its window curtains; the drab clothes, the cupidity and complacency of shopping women; and old men taking the air in comforters; the caution of people crossing; the universal determination to go on living, when really, fools and gulls that you are, I said, any slate may fly from a roof, any car may swerve, for there is neither rhyme nor reason when a drunk man staggers about with a club in his hand – that is all.” – Virginia Woolf.

Playing dress-up begings at age five and never truly ends.” – Kate Spade.

Katherine Noel Valentine Brosnahan Spade who died on 5th June 2018 was an American fashion designer. She co-owned designer brank Kate Spade New York.

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?” – Conan O’Brien.

Conan O’Brien is a late-night talk show host and comedian. He is mostly known as host of Late Night with Conan O’Brien.

How I wish the Christmas shopping season was short unfortunately shops will always make sure that it starts early as that is the time they make most money. They therefore bombard the airwaves with all sorts of ads to get our attention.

They came, they saw, they did a little shopping.” – Jeff Klooger.

As long as that little shopping did cost a lot then it is fine. Unfortunately a little shopping means real shopping.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry.

The western world has now forgotten the reason behind the institution of Christmas and Easter. These holidays are now commercialised beyond recognition. It is seen as a time for shopping and not going to church. I wish the latter was the main event during this period.

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” – Donald E Westlake.

I sometimes ask myself is this shopping is really necessary in an affluent world. Maybe that is the question I should be asking myself every Christmas. Maybe some people just need to know that I remember them with some simple gifts or cards.

“Thrift shopping is all about going into the thrift shop and having no expectation of what you might find.” – Macklemore.

Unfortunately, if you are like me that is exactly what I do. I just go into them without any plans whatsoever and end up buying things I don’t really need. Fortunately, my wife always makes sure that if there is no space I am forced to store it out of sight.

Shop shop ladies shop. Don’t let your plans flop… Let all his plans drop or give him a choice to mop… and if he still does not pop, flaunt your lingerie and hear him say, “Let’s shop”.- Marina Magens.

Very funny indeed! How I hate shopping. I think life will be better off if we all stayed home and washed the television than going out shoppig for hours.

I shop like a bull – I charge everything!” – Author Unknown.

Another funny shopping quote. There is a cost to shopping and it is fine if it is reasonable.

God, I scream for time to let go, to write, to think. But no. I have to exercise my memory in little feats just so I can stay in this damn wonderful place which I love and hate with all my heart. And so the snow slows and swirls, and melts along the edges. The first snow isn’t good for much. It makes a few people write poetry, a few wonder if the Christmas shopping is done, a few make reservations at the skiing lodge. It’s a sentimental prelude to the real thing. It’s picturesque and quaint.” – Sylvia Plath

Related Post: 60 Inspirational Challenge Yourself Quotes


I hope that these shopping quotes have put a smile on your face while at the same challenging you to be better at managing your finances.

Apparently, between 2 to 20 percent of Americans are addicted to shopping. This is the one where you need some sort of therapy. It is definitely not a problem that should be taken lightly because in its wake it leaves people in debt they cannot manage.

We therefore need to learn to avoid all these commercials that try to entice us to buy things we do not reall need. It is important that one take at least 24 hours to think through any purchase they want to make except for necesssities. Impulse buying will lead to financial disaster.