39 Funny Shopping Quotes To Make Your Day

Today, I just wanted us to have a bit of a laugh by going through some funny shopping quotes that I have found on the net. Life is hard but we can make the load lighter by having a bit of laughter sometimes.

Shops are upping their game as they try to make as much money as possible. They now engage mystery shoppers to gauge how they are doing. I have a post on  Reasons To Become a Mystery Shopper for those that want to make a little money.

I know that most people struggle when it comes to shopping. They are more into impulse shopping than buying things they really need. So I hope that by reading some of the experiences of others we can learn to overcome some bad habits.

Related: Best Places To Sell Used Furniture

Below are the shopping quotes that I found.

No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.” – Donita K. Paul.

Happiness is not in money, but in shopping.” Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe - Shopping quotes

I hate shopping.” – Courteney Cox

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.” – Sophie Kinsella

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Smith.

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” – Oscar Wilde.

I couldn’t live on the singing at first, so I worked as a cleaner, in a laundrette, in a garage, face painting and doing the windows of shops at Christmas, ’cause I had been to art college.'” – Imelda May.

I have no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping.” – Jo Brand.

The car, the furniture, the wife, the children – everything has to be disposable. Because you see the main thing today is – shopping.” – Arthur Miller.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Gertrude Stein.

I like my money right where I can see it… hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw.

Recreational shopping is the shortest distance between two points: you and broke.” – Victoria Moran.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, “so does the guy I stole it from.” – David Letterman.

I love shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “extra medium.” – Steven Wright.

I walked into the mall and instantly felt calm surrounded by all the stores I’ll browse but can’t afford.” – Unknown.

Principles are the simplicity on the far side of complexity.” – Stephen R. Covey

If I could be reincarnated as a fashion accessory, it would be a shopping bag.” – Karl Lagerfeld.

While Easter shopping is the window to spring, back-to-school is the doorway to fall and the holidays. So back-to-school shopping is a really important momentum builder.” – Marshal Cohen.

I love dress shopping, and I love talking about wedding food. That’s what makes me happy. If you tell me to do a guest list, I cry. I hate it.” – Chrissy Teigen.

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.” – Maria Bamford.

If I like it. I’ll buy it: pure impulse shopping.” – Kristin Kreuk.

I’ve found out it’s fun to go shopping. It’s such a feminine thing to do.” – Marilyn Monroe.

I love shopping. There is a little bit of magic found in buying something new. It is instant gratification, a quick fix.” – Rebecca Bloom.

There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness in the proportion.” – Edgar Allan Poe.

Joy is the best makeup.” – Anne Lamott.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey.

Shopping for clothes is a Boyfriend Thing. You stand around and look blankly at a bunch of pieces of fabric and you look at the price tags and you wonder how something that barely covers your right nut can cost the price of a kidney and you watch the shop assistants check you out and wonder what you’re doing with her because she’s cute and you’re kind of funny-looking and she tries clothes on and you look at her ass in a dozen different items that all look exactly the same and let’s face it you’re just looking at her ass anyway and it all blurs together and then someone sticks a vacuum cleaner in your wallet and vacuums out all the cash and you leave the store with one bag so small that mice couldn’t fuck in it. Repeat a dozen times or until the front of your brain dies.” – Warren Ellis

Clothes aren’t going to change the world the women who wear them will.” – Anna Klein.

When shopping was still connected to the street it was also an intensification and articulation of the street. Not it has become utterly independent-contained, controlled, surveyed.” – Rem Koolhaas.

I observed with disillusioned clarity the despicable nonentity of the street; its porches; its window curtains; the drab clothes, the cupidity and complacency of shopping women; and old men taking the air in comforters; the caution of people crossing; the universal determination to go on living, when really, fools and gulls that you are, I said, any slate may fly from a roof, any car may swerve, for there is neither rhyme nor reason when a drunk man staggers about with a club in his hand – that is all.” – Virginia Woolf.

Playing dress-up begings at age five and never truly ends.” – Kate Spade.

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?” – Conan O’Brien.

They came, they saw, they did a little shopping.” – Jeff Klooger.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry.

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” – Donald E Westlake.

“Thrift shopping is all about going into the thrift shop and having no expectation of what you might find.” – Macklemore.

Shop shop ladies shop. Don’t let your plans flop… Let all his plans drop or give him a choice to mop… and if he still does not pop, flaunt your lingerie and hear him say, “Lets shop”.- Marina Magens.

I shop like a bull – I charge everything!” – Author Unknown.

God, I scream for time to let go, to write, to think. But no. I have to exercise my memory in little feats just so I can stay in this damn wonderful place which I love and hate with all my heart. And so the snow slows and swirls, and melts along the edges. The first snow isn’t good for much. It makes a few people write poetry, a few wonder if the Christmas shopping is done, a few make reservations at the skiing lodge. It’s a sentimental prelude to the real thing. It’s picturesque and quaint.” – Sylvia Plath

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I hope that these shopping quotes have put a smile on your face while at the same challenging you to be better at managing your finances.