81 Serious and Funny Banking Quotes To Make Your Day

In today’s post I want to share some cool banking quotes that are both funny and educative.

Banks are now a prominent part of any “developed” or “developing” country. We cannot imagine a world without banks. Gone are the days when people used to keep money in their homes.

And as the world is going for digital money banks and financial institutions will become even more important in our lives.

Below are some serious and funny banking quotes:

Serious and Funny Banking Quotes

1. “Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.” – Earl Wilson.

Mark Twain on Banking : banking quotes

2. “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” – Mark Twain.

3. “Banking was conceived in iniquity and born in sin.” – Josiah Stamp.

4. “If banks cannot truly be customer intimate, they are doomed to be just dumb commodities, acting behind the scenes, like utilities.” – JP Nicols.

5. “Bottom line, having a customer-centric culture is more than just a good thing – it’s become a matter of survival.” – Jim Marous.

6. “The challenge for banks isn’t becoming “digital” – it’s providing value that is perceived to be in line with the cost – or better yet, providing value that consumers are comfortable paying for.” – Ron Shevlin.

7. “If banks can’t offer something more valuable than Amazon Prime, then we’re probably in the wrong business.” – Bradley Leimer.

8. “Banking has to work when and where you need it. The best advice and the best service in financial services happens in real-time and is based on customer behavior, using principles of Big Data, mobility, and gamification.” – Brett King.

9. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope.

Bill Gates banking quote

10. “Banking is necessary, banks are not.” – Bill Gates.

11. “The banks…hard to believe in a time when we’re facing a banking crisis…that many of the banks created … are still the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill. And they frankly own the place.” – Richard Durbin.

12. “Financial institutions must be able to deliver as easy to navigate, a seamless digital platform that goes far beyond a miniaturized online banking offering.” – Jim Marous.

13. “I trust online banking. You know why? Because if somebody hacks into my account and defrauds my credit card company, or my online bank account, guess who takes the loss? The bank, not me.” – Kevin Mitnick.

14. “Banking is very good business if you don’t do anything dumb.” – Warren Buffett.

15. “By partnering with fintech startups, banks will give their account holders the right measure of security and speed. Account-holders can know that their money is safe, and they can enjoy the latest financial technology. This is the way to become a digital bank.” – Chris Skinner.

16. “It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.” – Henry Ford.

17. “If there’s one reason why have done better than our peers in the Internet space over the last six years, it is because we have focused like a laser on customer experience, and that really does matter, I think, in any business.” – Jeff Bezos.

18. “The modern banking system manufactures money out of nothing. The process is perhaps the most astounding piece of sleight-of-hand that was ever invented.” – Josiah Stamp.

19. “Banks have to upgrade themselves or risk being burnt to the ground.” – JP Nicols.

20. “Good banking is produced not by good laws, but by good bankers.” – Hartley Withers.

21. “I have always been afraid of banks.” – Andrew Jackson.

22. “Technological innovations will be the heart and blood of the banking industry for many years to come and if big banks do not make the most of it, the new players from FinTech and large technology companies surely will.” – David Brear.

23. “Each year technology makes the world more complex for people to understand. So, easy-to-use services for consumers are in particularly great demand.” – Alex Kreger.

24. “The advantage of online banking is that you can pay bills superfast, and your account is automatically credited or debited for each deposit and payment, making it easier to stay on track.” – Suze Orman.

25. “Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.” – Ben Irwin.

26. “We’re witnessing the creative destruction of financial services, rearranging itself around the customer. Who does this in the most relevant, exciting way using data and digital, wins!” – Arvind Sankaran.

27. “I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.” – Thomas Jefferson.

28. “Web banking lets you monitor your spending, tweak your budget, schedule payments, and more, particularly if you marry your online bank with the personal-finance management tools available online.” – Jean Chatzky.

29. “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.” – Richard Feynman.

30. “The bank – the monster has to have profits all the time. It can’t wait. It’ll die. No, taxes go on. When the monster stops growing, it dies. It can’t stay one size.” – John Steinbeck.

31. “If you compare banks to companies like Google, it’s evident that banks are still at the nascent stage of the digital and data revolution.” – Vik Atal.

32. “To start doing online banking and bill paying is a behavior shift. For most people, it requires someone you know and believer to say it’s a good idea.” – Judy Wicks.

33. “In the future, the [banking] interface will not be a branch, a computer, or even a phone.” – Jim Marcus.

34. “Online banking is safe and getting safer.” – Doug Johnson.

35. “We live in an era of fraud in America. Not just in banking, but in government, education, religion, food, even baseball…” – Mark Baum.

36. “The dollar bills the customer gets from tellers in four banks are the same. What is different are the tellers.” – Stanley Marcus.

37. “Banks need to think through their ethics very carefully, and many have done so. I don’t know any bank that dismisses the concept of ethical banking.” – Justin Welby.

38. “Open banking brings a new era of competition to Australian financial services, creating a level playing field between banks, fintechs, and other financial services providers.” – Alex Johnston.

39. “Banking may well be a career from which no man really recovers.” – John Kenneth Galbraith.

40. “Having examined the nature of fractional reserve and of central banking, and having seen how the questionable blessing of Central Banking were fastened upon American, it is time to see precisely how the Fed, as presently constituted, carries our its systemic inflation and its control of the American monetary system.” – Murray Rothbard.

41. “Digital is fundamental to our business and to the future of the entire financial services industry.” – Dennis Hudson, Seacoast Bank.

42. “In Islamic banking, there is no black box that needs a genius to unwind it. Many of these conventional products that have been under stress lately are very complex and need special risk management tools. In Islamic banking, you will not have this kind of thing. Some of these products would not be sharia accepted.” – Rasheed Al-Maraj, Bahrain Central Bank Governor.

43. “Bank-paper must be suppressed, and the circulating medium must be restored to the nation to whom it belongs.” – Thomas Jefferson.

44. “Mobile has become the way millions of our customers interact with us daily. They have high expectations and expect it to be easy to cross channels.” – Brett Pitts.

45. “Banking was still in such a rudimentary state that even bankers seemed to be baffled by it.” Virginia Cowles.

46. “If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.” – Bill Maher.

47. “Banking gives you a glimpse into what makes companies succeed and what makes companies fail.” – Unknown.

48. “If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” – J Paul Getty.

49. “Usury is the cancer of the world, which only the surgeon’s knife of fascism can cut out of the life of the nations.” – Ezra Pound.

50. “I hope we shall take warning from the example [of England] and crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength and bid defiance to the laws of our country.” – Thomas Jefferson.

51. “I founded Grameen Bank to provide loans to those considered traditionally unbankable.” – Muhammad Yunus.

52. “It is no coincidence that the century of total war coincided with the century of central banking.” – Ron Paul.

53. “There’s a loss of faith in the banking system that for so long has been the backbone of prosperity and growth.” – Lucy Powell.

54. “Those who support humanism should welcome Islamic banking and finance in India.” – Justice Krishna Iyer.

55. “We should pay attention to the control of bank credit offerings and strengthen guidance for commercial banks.” – Zheng Jinping.

56. “The banking collapse was caused, more than anything, by bad government policy and the total failure of bad regulation, rather than by greed.” – Nigel Farage.

57. “There was a period for remorse and apology; that period needs to be over.” – Bod Diamond, Barclays Bank.

58. “The bank, Mr. Van Buren, is trying to kill me, but I will kill it.” – Andrew Jackson to Martin Van Buren, 1832.

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Abraham Lincoln ; banking quote.
Abraham Lincoln

59. “The money powers prey upon the nation in times of peace and conspire against it in times of adversity. The banking powers are more despotic than a monarchy, more insolent than autocracy, more selfish than bureaucracy.” – Abraham Lincoln.

60. “It was a carefully contrived occurrence. International bankers sought to bring about a condition of despair so that they might emerge the rulers of us all.” – Louis McFadden.

61. “When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. ‘You don’t pay me back I break both your legs.’ Is that all? You won’t take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign? Legs? Fine. You don’t even have to sign anything.” – Craig Ferguson.

62. “I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don’t have that much time.” – Steven Wright.

63. “Central banks have gotten out of the central banking business and into the central planning business, meaning that they are devoted to raising up – if they can – economic growth and employment through the dubious means of suppressing interest rates and printing money. The nice thing about gold is that you can’t print it.” – James Grant.

64. “There is only one kind of life insurance, and that is pure protection based on a mortality table. All others are pure protection plus a cash value element that I call ‘funny’ banking.” – Venita Van Caspel.

65. “I feel sorry for those financial institutions that don’t have mobile account opening on their radar.” – Shane Ferrell.

66. “There was, of course, a global financial crisis. But our Labour predecessors left Britain exceptionally vulnerable and damaged: more personal debt than any other major economy; a dangerously inflated property bubble; and a bloated banking sector behaving as masters, not the servants of the people.” – Vince Cable.

67. “With global initiatives, such as open banking…the way e-commerce business collect revenue from their customers is going to start to look different in 2020. Ravelin’s role will remain the same; we’ll focus on how we can help these businesses allow the maximum number of good transactions – however, they are generated – without falling victim to fraud.” – Nick Lally.

68. “Banking technology has made it simple and efficient to invest in good causes.” – Mark Skousen.

69. “And many of the people who buy or found banks have had no experience in banking at all. If they can learn it. So can we.” – Penny Lernoux.

70. “Higher underwriting revenues, increased mergers and acquisitions fees, growth in trading and merchant banking gains, and increased commission revenues were the factors underlying this excellent performance.” – D. Miller.

71. “The large banking interests were deeply interested in the World War because of the wide opportunity for large profits.” – William Jennings Bryan.

72. “I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again.” – Jean Baudrillard.

73. “Innovation has stalled in the banking industry. While the rest of the world is in the digital age, banking remains stagnant. We are here to change this and bring banking to the 21st century. We will ensure our customers feel involved in the progress of this bank and are offering them a truly enjoyable banking experience – different from anything they have experienced before.” – Jay Sidhu.

74. “It’s important that the American people understand that President has proposed and passed this stimulus plan not as the end-all and be-all to our economic woes but as our bridge over troubled water until we get the finance system, the banking system working again.” – William J Clinton.

75. “The crash did not cause the Depression: that was part of a far broader malaise. What it did was expose the weaknesses that underpinned the confidence and optimism of the 1920s – poor distribution of income, a weak banking structure and insufficient regulations, the economy’s dependence on new consumer goods, the over-extension of industry and the Government’s blind belief that promoting business interests would make American uniformly prosperous.” – Lucy Moore.

76. “At the lowest level of the investment banking hierarchy are the analysts. To find this young talent, the investment banks send their manicured young bankers out to the Whartons, Harvards, and Princetons of the world to roll out the red carpet for the top undergraduates and begin the process of destroying whatever noble ideals the youngsters have left.” – John Rolfe.

77. “The Emergency Banking Act reached in time to amend the Trading with the Enemy Act of 1917, which had originally been intended to criminalize economic intercourse between American citizens and declared enemies of the United States.” – Thomas Woods.

78. “All right. You know some bankers who are slick with a slice of secret sin. You’ve seen some bankers and candlestick makers who are no credit to their profession. Yet you don’t damn banking and baking, and candlestick making because of them.” – George Murphy.

Thomas Jefferson - banking quotes.
Thomas Jefferson

79. “Artificial intelligence is not the answer to everything, but in a hyper-competitive marketplace like investment banking, smart tools can change the game in terms of productivity gains, lead generation capabilities, and customer experience.” – Sofia Spencer.

80. “The system of banking has [for]ever reprobated. I contemplate it as a blot left in our constitutions, which, if not covered, will end in their destruction, which is already hit by the gamblers in corruption, and is sweeping away in its progress the fortunes and morals of our citizens.” – Thomas Jefferson.

81. “In the deregulated realm of US banking and finance, crime does occasionally pay for its foul deeds, not in prison time but by making modest rebates to the victims.” – William Greider.

Online Banking Quotes

“I don’t do online banking” – Frank Abagnale.

“Phishing attacks…like the one that may have been behind the recent Twitter AP hoax –will persist because they work.” – Kevin Casey, InformationWeek.

“A very large number of attacks rely on simple social engineering. Ask yourself next time you receive an e-mail claiming you have won an iPad or received a FedEx package – is this probably real?” – James Lyne.

“Make the most of online banking to make your life easier and keep your finances organized. Online banking is great because it offers quick, easy, 24-hour access to your checking and savings accounts.” – Alexa Von Tobel.

“Take the same precautions on your mobile device as you do on your computer with regard to messaging and online safety.” – staysafeonline.org.

“Ideally, you will have separate computers for work and personal use; this will offer a different type of protection.” – United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team.

“From my perspective, we have to start thinking that we’re an IT company with a banking license, with 1,700 bank branches and 2,000 ATMs all over the country. HBL acquires 1 million new customers a month. With the rollout of biometric devices nationwide that number is set to double or triple.” – Muhammad Aurangzeb, CEO Habib Bank Ltd.

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I hope that you have learned from these sages past and present from all over the world through thse wise and funny banking quotes. You may not necessarily agree with all of them but one can still learn something about banking through these quotes.

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